Old People Watching Birds

by Jay(bird) Kerner

We’re old now. It’s a constant surprise! I didn’t think it would happen to us. We were going to do things differently. Better. And damn it, if good intentions counted for more, we would have!

But even as I slowed down some, I still wouldn’t admit that the aging process was catching up to me. Until we moved, and built a family room up among the mature trees, with glass on three sides. And put up the bird feeders.

The queen has always had a feeder of some kind wherever we’ve lived, usually out in the yard somewhere. You’d occasionally see birds from a distance, but not up close. This is a whole different thing. We’re surrounded!

It took a couple days for the word to pass around the avian community about the offerings we put on display, but the first explorers of each species returned with recruits, and it was on from there.

Up close is different. You don’t just see them, you see their behavior. Like how they work in pairs.

The Male Cardinal sits watch on the railing while the Mrs. chows down, before taking his turn. We had several Blue Jays early on. They chase off any of the smaller birds. They’re kind of jerks. But the worst are the Grackles. They often come in a gang of three, like Stooges. One gets a bite while the other two play-fight, throwing wings and claws at each other before switching.

I know what they are, because we brought home “Birds of the Midwest” from the library. That’s how I’ve identified the Eastern Bluebird and the Common Nuthatch, among other frequent fliers. We have a nest of Hairy Woodpeckers in a tree just off our deck. They make sure the coast is clear before swooping in for a quick bite, then swooping back out.

And the cheap bag of mixed seed we’ve been buying seems to have something for everybody. A fresh fill brings out the bigger birds that want the sunflower seeds. They dominate the feeders until they’ve cherry-picked what they want. Then the little guys come for the rest.

Last time I bought some, I ran into a buddy with a cart full of big bags. We talked birds for a bit. His wife got him into it. Now they mix their own custom blend to attract the birds they want and have an app on their phones that listens to tweets and identifies the species.
We’re not there yet, but we might be on our way. Birds are cool! Who knew? Maybe you just have to slow down enough to see it.

Aviaries are popular features in nursing homes these days. Big glass cases with fake trees inside, filled with tiny songbirds in nests. The residents will sit and watch them for hours in what’s essentially a little bird zoo. Whenever I see one, I can’t help feeling sorry for the birds, never flying more than a few feet from branch to branch.

But now it occurs to me that with all the windows in our family room, we’ve sort of reversed that situation. I’m watching the birds, but they’re watching me, too! I’m trapped in my little glass cage while they gorge themselves on a magic bird buffet that just keeps refilling, then flying away, free as a bird! I wonder if they see us in there and think, “those poor bastards!”?

We’re old people now, that watch birds. And it’s ok.