Summer Rehab

by Jay Kerner

Since the first of May, I’ve been in full construction mode. I spent the winter scheming and planning the various moves we’d need to pull off to make it happen. We’ve owned a rental house for several years, which we mainly bought because of its location overlooking the Parkway. This Spring, our long-time tenant moved out, and we decided to jump in.

We’re doing a total remodel of the existing interior ourselves while our contractor builds us a large addition.
So, I have the tools out. The fine, finishing tools for later, but first the rough tools. The ones intended more for destruction than construction. The various diggers. The heavy pounders.

The pryers and the wrencher-outers. The ones my Master Carpenter grandfather referred to as “tools of ignorance.” The ones used by the dumbest guys on the job site. And on this job site…that’s me! I’ve been pounding things and ripping things out. I’ve been buying all sorts of heavy-ass things, hauling them in a crappy kidnapper-looking van, then muscling them into the new place. For sawing and of course, more pounding. And while I love it, (I really do!), excuse me for saying so, but it’s kicking my butt a little bit.
I’m no spring chicken (I’m probably more of a fall chicken). I can still do stuff, but not as fast and not for as long. And not as high up and not quite as heavy. But other than that, I’m good.

I kind of look like I’ve been wrestling with wolverines. I have little cuts and scratches all over. Seriously, like head to toe! Like smacking the one freakishly low door-jamb with my forehead three times (so far) to a nail through the flip-flop.

And I’m sore. It’s those damn tools of ignorance. It can be cathartic fun to swing a sledgehammer, but unless you do it all the time, you’re gonna feel it in the morning, Jack! I’m actually pretty good while I’m moving but if you let me sit down for any length of time, every part of me seems bound and determined to not let me back up. But I do get up. Sometimes, with a push or a pull, but I get there. And go again. Because there’s a lot to do and the clock’s ticking. Ibuprofen is my summer friend.

And I make satisfying progress. Every day! Some more than others. Some days, we go back a step, change something up, and go forward again. That comes along with remodeling. You’re always following somebody. Somebody else’s ideas. Somebody else’s execution. We always go in with the attitude of “What’s worth saving?” and try to make use of anything that fits our loose plan.

We’re up-cyclers. Since way before we ever heard the term. My grandma always said, “Poor folks got poor ways.” But I don’t think there’s anything wrong with putting new life into something old. For instance, we were shopping countertops for the new kitchen. Granite. Quartz. Yikes! Beautiful but pricey.

I knew you could buy butcher block in pre-cut sections and considered that, but I remembered a purchase from several years ago when I snagged three sections of bowling alley from Olympia Lanes. I’d been using them as heavy-duty workbenches, but they’re hard maple and heavy as hell. The Queen often has to see something before she gets it, and this was definitely one of those. But she sees it now and is on board. I especially love the original inlaid dots and arrows, which I made sure to preserve.

The whole project will be an eclectic mix of the old and the new, and definitely not for everyone. We’ll be working on it for a while. You might not see us out and about quite as often in the coming weeks. But if you do, please excuse the sawdust in my hair and the paint samples scattered liberally about my person.

It’s hard work for an old dog, but I’m enjoying the process of turning our imagination into a new home that suits us and will meet our needs now and in the future. If it doesn’t kill me.